By denying the crucial issue of domestic abuse, the anti-social-media crusade now endangers children and teenagers

Jean Twenge denies it. Jonathan Haidt won’t talk about it. Yet, CDC surveys and analyses clearly show parents' and adults' abuses and troubles are by far the biggest drivers of teens’ depression.

From 2011 to 2021, the period teens’ self-reported depression increased, violent and emotional abuses of teens by parents, household adults, and other relatives also rose – according to our three best measures: National Crime Victimization Survey, the National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence, and the Centers for Disease Control’s Adolescent Behaviors and Experiences Survey, 2021 and 2023.

The NCVS show the rate of violent victimizations of ages 12-17 by “relatives” rose from 150 per 100,000 population in 2011 to 180 in 2018 (the year teen suicide rates peaked), then continued rising, to 310 in 2021 and 330 in 2022 – though trends depend on what years are chosen and how numbers are grouped.

The NSCEV showed 8% of teens had been emotionally abused, and 4% violently abused in the previous year, and 15% of teens had been emotionally abused and 10% violently abused by grownups in their lives. The CDC surveys show those levels rocketed to 56% of teens emotionally abused and 12% violently abused during the previous YEAR by 2021, and 62% emotionally abused and 32% violently abused during their lives in 2023, according to CDC surveys.

That is, abuses by adult family members rose during exactly the period teens’ reported becoming more depressed, sad, and anxious.

Here are the specifics, starting with emotional victimizations:

2011 NSCEV, question to teens: “At any time in your life, did you get scared or feel really bad because grownups in your life called you names, said mean things to you, or said they didn’t want you?” YES 8% (past year); 15% (during life)

2021 CDC ABES, question to teens: “During the COVID-19 pandemic, did a parent or other adult in your home swear at you, insult you, or put you down?” NEVER 45%, RARELY 24%, SOMETIMES 20%, MOST OF THE TIME 8%, ALWAYS 4%

2023 CDC ABES, question to teens: “During your life, how often did a parent or other adult in your home swear at you, insult you, or put you down?” NEVER 39%, RARELY 28%, SOMETIMES 22%, MOST OF THE TIME 8%, ALWAYS 4%

Violent victimizations:

2010 NCVS: Violent victimizations (rape/sexual assault, personal robbery, aggravated assault and simple assault, both attempted and completed crimes) by relatives, per 1,000 population. AGE 12-14, 1.3 per 1,000 population; AGE 15-17, 2.9; ALL AGE 12-17, 4.2

2021 NCVS: Violent victimizations (rape/sexual assault, personal robbery, aggravated assault and simple assault, both attempted and completed crimes) by relatives, per 1,000 population. AGE 12-14, 2.6 per 1,000 population; AGE 15-17, 4.0; ALL AGE 12-17, 6.6

2023 NCVS: Violent victimizations (rape/sexual assault, personal robbery, aggravated assault and simple assault, both attempted and completed crimes) by relatives, per 1,000 population. AGE 12-14, 1.9 per 1,000 population; AGE 15-17, 3.3; ALL AGE 12-17, 5.2

2011 NSCEV, question to teens: “Not including spanking on your bottom, at any time did a grownup in your life hit, beat, kick, or physically hurt you in any way?” YES 4% (past year); 10% (during life)

2021 CDC ABES, question to teens: “At any time during the COVID-19 pandemic, how often did an adult in your home hit, beat, kick, or physically hurt you in any way?” NEVER 89%, RARELY 8%, SOMETIMES 2%, MOST OF THE TIME 1%, ALWAYS: 1%

2023 CDC ABES, question to teens: “During your life, how often did an adult in your home hit, beat, kick, or physically hurt you in any way?” NEVER 68%, RARELY 21%, SOMETIMES 9%, MOST OF THE TIME 2%, ALWAYS, 1%

Notice that the CDC’s questions in 2021 are narrower, covered only the previous year, asked only about abuses by parents and household adults (as opposed to ALL grownups in the teen’s life in the NSCEV), and asked only if abuses occurred and did not ask teens to add in their feelings (as the NSCEV did) — all of which should have elicited LOWER numbers in 2021. Bizarrely, Twenge’s response to the much larger numbers of teens reporting abuses in 2021 than in 2011 tried to argue the opposite:

“These are very different questions. The 2021 question asks about less severe and more ambiguous adult behaviors than the 2008/2010 question. An adult telling a teen they need to do their homework so they don’t fail their classes could be considered a put-down or an insult. So could a parent saying they were disappointed with a teen’s behavior. “Swear at you” could also include parents using swear words at all. Apart from any change over time, it seems likely more teens will agree with this question than the previous one.” … The 2010 question specifically excludes spanking, while the 2021 question does not. There are also different response choices, with the 2010 survey using “yes” and “no” and the 2021 survey using “never,” “rarely,” “sometimes,” “most of the time,” and “always.”

The growth in emotional abuses in particular is too large to be attributed to small artifacts of question wording, especially since wordings generally became more refined over time.

Notice further how dismissive Twenge is of teens’ reports of abuse, which is repeated in her latest post. It’s just kids’ sensitivity to being told to do homework, or parents’ harmless swearing. After all, she argues, a couple of other surveys say those problems just afflict non-parents, who couldn’t possibly affect teenagers. Teens’ parents “aren’t to blame for the rise in teenage depression” in any way, she insisted.

Twenge’s dismissal was obliterated when the CDC released its 2023 ABES. Teens reported on the 2023 survey in huge numbers that their parents and household grownups suffered severe mental health problems and suicidality (41%), drug/alcohol abuse (33%), and jailings (18%) and had inflicted violent abuses (12%) and, especially, emotional abuses (58%). Three-fourths of teens reported at least one such parental/adult affliction, and one-fifth reported four or more, the CDC analysis concluded – and together, these “common … adverse experiences” account for a staggering two-thirds of teens’ depression and 89% of teens’ suicide attempts.

Before Twenge and others try again to dismiss those issues as frivolous teenage snowflakings, the CDC survey shows that teens who report parental abuses and troubles also are the SAME ONES who report the depression, sadness, and suicide attempts Haidt and Twenge and her colleagues incessantly cite.

For examples, teens who live with:

· violently abusive parents/adults are 1.8 times more likely to report being frequently depressed and 3.4 times more likely to attempt suicide;

· parents/adults who are violent towards each other are 1.8 times more likely to report being frequently depressed and 3.5 times more likely to attempt suicide;

· emotionally abusive parents/adults are 2.7 times more likely to report being frequently depressed and 3.9 times more likely to attempt suicide;

· severely depressed and suicidal parents/guardians are 2.3 times more likely to report being frequently depressed themselves and 3.4 times more likely to attempt suicide;

· drug/alcohol abusing parents/guardians are 1.7 times more likely to report being frequently depressed and 3.0 times more likely to attempt suicide.

These are the depressed and suicidal teens Twenge, Haidt, and colleagues talk about endlessly. Yet, they still refuse to take seriously the abuses – especially the emotional abuses – that underlie teens’ depression and self-destructive feelings. Just ban them from social media and that will fix it.

The CDC survey shows abused and depressed teens who use social media daily are 7% LESS likely to attempt suicide and 22% LESS likely to harm themselves compared to their counterparts who rarely or never use social media. Those who would ban or restrict teens from social media may be interfering with a vital resource abused and depressed teens use to get help.

The bottom line is that while parents’ and adult caretakers’ drug/alcohol abuse has definitely risen and emotional abuses victimizing teens very likely have risen, whether their violent abuses also have risen depends largely on which surveys and years are chosen and how the data are grouped.

But the larger issue is that the anti-social-media crusade has now deteriorated into wildly overhyping the effects of what even their own analyses show is a trivial influence on teens’ mental health (and one with zero demonstrated effect on suicide) while denying and dismissing the parent and household adult abuses and troubles repeatedly shown to be strong predictors of teens’ depression and suicide. They seem to be fine with sucking the air out of the discussion. For psychologists who surely know better, that is a disgrace.